Old Things

My parents got a new crock pot. It has three different sizes of removable heating bowls. I admit to a small touch of crock pot envy.

The crock pot the stews our chili and soups is circa somewhere 1993. At some point during the first autumn in Skylight Apartments #3, my roommates and I determined we must have a crock pot (I bet it was Robyn). We went to the local WalMart and probably paid about $10 for this one. I don't know how I lucked out, but it stayed with me.

I realize I have several other things that fit into the category of the crock pot. It's old and outdated, and there are newer & better models...but it's still functional...so it's still getting used in my house.

I have a sweatshirt that I know I got on a trip to North Carolina just after my former roommate Ali moved out there after college graduation. I got it at an outlet mall (my first outlet experience!). I wear it to bed now. The ribbing on the sleeves is almost completely worn off, but it's still a very functional sleeping sweatshirt. I am not sentimental about clothes. This really is a great sleeping garment.

Plates: hosting a half-dozen friends for Thanksgiving made me realize the mish-mash of plates we have dates back post Jamey. Several of the plates were purchased upon moving into Southland Lane apartments during my senior year of college; and two or three were from a shopping trip with my mom a few years after. You can bet Shirley dumped those old dishes WAY before I will! Many times I've thought we need a regular set of dishes...but I just haven't gotten around to picking some out and replacing the very-functional dishes in the cupboard.

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that Jamey and I never got around to replacing ALL of the college furniture. Our bedroom still boasts two dressers that have followed me since my college days. One of them is a cast off from an aunt; I refinished it and am quite proud of the work that went it to restoring this old treasure. The other has been painted at least 4 different colors over the years and probably needs to find a home with another college student looking for bedroom creativity.

I'm not sure if it's a mental block or some practical thread weaving its way into my life regarding these old relics. I think I'm going to make it my post-holiday task, though, to finally get a big-girl set of dishes. The rest of the stuff can keep on functioning for a few more years.

Twelve

It was twelve years ago tonight that I married Jamey. While I can honestly say it hasn't been ALL roses (he's not the roses sort of guy), I can say it's been a GREAT ride, and I'm looking forward to the next twelve just as much as I've enjoyed the past twelve.

Twelve things I might not have experienced/learned about/did if not for Jamey (in no particular order....)

1. "plan the work, then work the plan"
2. 'My Morning Jacket', 'The Hold Steady', 'Jack Johnson' etc. And I wouldn't have the joy of hearing my six-year-old singing 'Kings of Leon' and 'World Party' songs regularly.
3. Hiking the Napoli Coast of Kauai. Dangerous but so thrilling.
4. Guitar lessons and my own guitar
5. Hiking with the buffalo in Yellowstone
6. Swimming with manatees in Wekiva Springs
7. Sweet Willa: Jamey's logical mind and endless need to know more
8. Wildman Cam: eyes like swimming pools (Willa's words)...just like Jamey's eyes
9. Rebuilding this house ourselves - one room at a time
10. Sushi
11. Biodiesel
12. Mountain biking (morphed to road biking after 12 years!)

Beginnings

Yesterday the first year students moved in on campus. It's thrilling to see the excited faces of the students moving in TVs, bean bags, computers, etc. and I now notice the faces of parents, too. Excited, worried, anxious.

Until recently, on move-in day each August, I'd be flooded with memories of my own move-in day. Matthews Hall was an unair-conditioned, 4-story, double-winged co-ed dorm and I moved into Room 214 in August of 1989 - perhaps the hottest day of that summer. My roommate was a sophomore and was bringing the lofts, mini-fridge and carpeting two days later, so really, I just had clothes, books, my bedding, some posters and a red foam chair. My mom held back tears, my 15-year old brother was more emotionally demonstrative than he'd been with me for several years, and my dad checked the oil in my car at least twice before they left town. I felt like I was starting a REALLY long camp.

Then last year, on Coe move-in day, in the midst of thinking about Matthews Hall, a new thought popped into my head. I thought 'this will be us in the future.' I starting thinking about Jamey and I as the anxious parents and Willa as the excited student embarking on new adventure. Yesterday I pictured Cam as the 12-year pesty brother, making potentially embarrassing comments in front of Willa's roommates. I thought about Jamey with his tools making certain the lofts or bunks are sturdy. I thought about how I'll linger and not want to leave. I'll ask Willa if she needs anything at Target enough times to annoy her.

Of course all of this is moot, though. We've already established that we're all going with Willa when she goes to college. Jamey and I will get more degrees, Cam can go to a local middle school. Willa has gleefully consented to this (and I've videotaped to remind her when the time comes). She's made slight alteration in the plan already, though. Last year, the plan was that we'd all share a dorm room. Last night, when we were talking about college, Willa suggested that now she and Cam will share a dorm room, and Jamey and I can either live next door, or maybe even down the hall. Perhaps by next year she'll have us living on a different floor entirely.

A Long Windy Day

Just a short post today: the good things: no rain, apple-cinnamon-pecan french toast, Dutch Lettters pastries. The bad things: WIND, WIND, WIND. We just couldn't catch a break with the head winds today from Ottumwa to Mt. Pleasant.

Tomorrow is our last day. We're scheduled to leave Burlington around 1pm, arrive at CR by 3pm, and then Jamey and I will drive to Clear Lake to pick up Willa & Cam. Can't wait!

Indianola to Chariton: SUNSHINE!

Finally...after two miserable, long, cold, hilly days we finally get some fun. Woke up to a very dense fog cover this morning, but now we're having fun. We've got sunshine and some tail winds, so we can get a nice pace going. Every one seems almost giddy about the ride. In addition to the fabulous weather, it's a short day. Much needed after two 70+ mile days.

We're in Lacona at the moment, 14 miles from the end of our day.

The most interesting things we saw today:
1) two guys on unicycles
2) guy rollerblading the whole route
3) banana guy - we've seen him every day. He's a guy riding a three-wheel 'bent with big banana peel covering, plus he's wearing a banana costume. Yesterday he had Chiqita girls riding with him. Funny.

"A Less Than Pleasant Ride"

We're in Fontenelle, IA currently - six miles from the overnight stop (Greenfield). Current conditions: WET. I'd say today is not the best day I've had on a bike, but it's not the worst either.

We got started under heavy, gray skies around 7am. I kept waiting for the rain, but a few hours in it looked like we might get lucky and see it blow over. No luck. By the time we got to Corning (the half-way town) and got out of the United Methodist Church's basement, it had started to sprinkle. We did get lucky and got some of the last pie available there (in addition to a heavy plate of mashed potatoes and pasta).

We're ready to get these last few miles out of the way and set up our tent before it gets too wet tonight. Fingers crossed for a dry day tomorrow.

RAGBRAI DAY 1

We made it through Day One: Council Bluffs to Red Oaks.

We left from Cedar Rapids yesterday around 10:00AM, and arrived in Council Bluffs around 2:30-3:00PM. The best story if that our host family moved without informing Lonnie, our ride director. So, we drove up to the house (about seven miles from RAGBRAI central) and no one was home. Neighbors came out and said Wyatt have moved over a month ago. Fortunately, the neighbors were nice. Jamey and I camped on the lawn of Barry and Diane. They were so friendly and generous, and they told great stories. They'd just returned a few hours before we arrived from a week of camping. Jamey and I were commenting that we hope we're just like Barry and Diana in 25 years.

The ride today was nice, a little hilly, but the weather was good. We took off around 7am (after chasing a cicada off of Jamey's bike that wanted to ride along), and we found Farm Boys Burritos around 8:00. Perfect. We shared a burrito, and a new item, Vanilla Mocha (not recommended) and rode on. We were at the last pass through town by 11:30, so we decided to hang out for awhile and find some lunch. Found corn on the cob, kinky fries, and lemonade.

Now we've showered and set up tent and it's time to find the next meal! First, we'll take advantage of the Red Oak hospitality; they've set up a whole carnival for us! Jamey's intent on riding the zipper. I'm feeling more like the Ferris Wheel.

Tomorrow: 77 miles...a few more hills. Yikes!

The Questions

On a recent morning bike commute, Willa asked all of the following questions:

• What if birds had to follow the stop signs?
• Why aren't there road signs for airplanes?
• How do those airplanes actually stay in the sky?
• How do the birds stay away from the airplanes?
• Who invented the first bike?
• How do they make these bikes, anyway?
• Why doesn't everybody ride their bikes to camp in the mornings?
  
• Are we at the top of the hill, yet? (we have a rule: I don't answer questions on an uphill climb)
• Why do you and daddy do RAGBRAI?

Of course, there were probably more that I simply do not remember, but that last one sticks in my head. Why do we do RAGBAI? I gave her an answer then that satisfied her need to know, but the question stays with me. The first time, we did RAGBRAI it was because we lived in Iowa and we biked. It seemed logical that we should join, and being non-natives in this state, it seemed like a good way to get better acquainted.

Now, going into our third RAGBRAI (plus two other rides: SAGBRAW and TRAM), I can think of no better way to spend this week each summer. We leave in two days, and I am just starting to prepare for the preparations (I'm washing clothes at least...). Here are a few 'why-i-do-it's' that float to the surface today:

• Because the details of living for a week on a bike ride are so completely different than the details of our daily existance here, it's possible to leave Willa and Cam for a week with no guilt or regrets (it's also ONLY possible because I have parents willing and able to spend a week caring for them). Each year, I realize how lucky I am to get a week with Jamey free from parenting...free from work, email, voicemail, mowing the lawn, putting out the garbage, washing dishes, etc. etc. etc.
  
• There is no rush, no agenda, no plan other than to get on my bike and go. We get there when we get there. If we want to stop we stop. No obligation other than to keep the pedals moving.
• I love being part of the slow-moving mob of people with a common love of bicycling, yet thousands of differences sharing one road. I've had great conversations with people from all over the US, and sang TV theme songs for an hour one year with a bunch of Brits. I don't remember names or know where these people went after they passed me or stopped in the next town, but that's not the point.
• Each of the towns we pass through has something interesting to offer, and I'm learning a lot about the history and heritage of our state with each new route. Riding a bike between these towns affords a glimpse of the state I never get when we drive through. I stop at the rural churches and at the historical markers. Cows, trees, fields, farms and windmills get noticed with much deeper detail.
• Farm Boys Burritos, Pastafarian, Lemonade Guys ("the special") and this year I might even try Mr. Porkchop if he's ever on the route later than 9am. And pie. I'll continue my search for the perfect cinnamon roll.

Lastly, the sense of accomplishment I feel when I dip my tire into the Mighty Mississippi next week will be incredible - just thinking about it is making me smile already.

Better start the real prepartions!

Riding WITH my Girl

Last week was "Bike to Work" week. Willa and I had been talking about trying a bike commute with the tag-along to Summit, and Bike to Work week seemed like the week to do it. Unfortunately Bike to Work week turned out to be a pretty bad week, weather-wise. The only sunny day was Thursday. On Wednesday night we got the tag-along hitch transferred from Jamey's bike to mine, and Willa and I prepared for our adventure the next day. When we woke up on Thursday morning, we did have sunshine, but we also had very strong gusting winds, and it was only 46 degrees! So, we chickened out. Instead we loaded up the tag-along and locked it into the bike rack at Summit. Then after work, I dropped off the 4runner at home, hopped on my bike and headed to school. We made it home in one piece! This was our first time together on the bike this season.

Today, we went out for a ride and decided to time ourselves on the ride to Summit. We didn't take the most direct route, but this route avoided some of the heavier-trafficked streets. It took us 17 minutes. That's not that much longer than it would take us to drive. Of course, I'll still have the ride to Coe from Summit, but that shouldn't take long at all.

While this isn't putting a lot of miles in my RAGBRAI training log, it's certainly building up my leg muscles! Willa doesn't have the best balance, and she is easily distracted from peddling (today's distraction "Mommy, did you know these pedals pedal backwards and forwards?" - my response "Only pedal forward!!!"), so I'm counting these commutes as mini-workouts!

Buffer Generation

My mom called yesterday on the way to visit my gramma in the nursing home. "Gramma's not doing so well" she said. My gramma is 96 years old and has lived in a nursing home in Tyndall for four or five years now, and it's been a steady decline. Most recently she has simply stopped eating.

She had a 'dip' last summer, too and I told Willa about it. I told her that Great Gramma Fathke's body was giving out on her; that she'd had a very long and a very good life and that now her body was just worn out. Willa wanted to know if she was going to die, and I said "She will, but I don't know when. Her body is really old and I don't think she'll live much longer." Willa wanted to know if she was a hundred (a big number she was familiar with), and I said "almost." I told Willa I'd be sad to have my gramma die, but that I was happy that she lived for so long and that I got to be with her for so long. I told her I was happy that she got know her great gramma, because not too many people do.

Steve and I took our kids to see her last April. It turned into a really nice visit, my cousin Brian and Uncle Don were driving through, and my other aunts, uncles and cousins all stopped by, too. Gramma was with it for most of the day, although I'm sure she didn't know who Willa, Jessen and Garrett were. I can't admit that she most likely couldn't place me, either. I'm glad we went, though.

I'm realistic enough to know that her mind and body are almost gone. It's painful to see her this way, especially because she had once been such a strong woman, both physically and mentally. My mom says she sleeps alot, and no longer even drinks coffee, so I know she's not there. Coffee was the sixth food group for her and my grampa as they worked their farm.

When she's gone it will just be my parents generation before me. I can't quite explain my feelings without sounding cold or irrational, but having Gramma Fathke around means there's one more generation before my parents. I don't have to face their aging because she's still here, and she's the focus. When she dies, it will make me think of my mom and my dad's mortality, and I am just not ready to be thinking those thoughts. So, for now, I'll think about these things:
*my parents are healthy and they're health-conscious: they go to the gym, they eat well;
*my gramma is still plugging away there - maybe not really there, but there. I'll celebrate her life and tell Willa & Cam stories about their strong, kind great-gramma. I'll tell them I hope I can be just like her - I never heard her say 'won't work' or 'can't' or 'don't try' - she just did it.

Home Improvements

After taking a break on the home improvement cycle last year, it seems we're back on task this year. I think inside work is about over (ripping out and replacing the kitchen floor, installing tile back splash, painting and painting Willa's new room might be enough for the year).

Yesterday a crew started ripping off the shingles on the house and they've already got new shingles on the back half. It's amazing how fast these things go with a crew of properly trained individuals with the right tools. We will be re-shingling the garage ourselves with the help of some friends.

The other projects are things we'll most likely take on ourselves and include new sidewalks and steps and fixing our chimney. It is, at the same time, both wonderful and horrible to have a partner that is skilled in home construction. Of course, it can't be debated that we've saved a lot of money doing much of our home re-construction ourselves. But often we do not have the tools and sometimes we do not have the skills to do everything required in a job. And always, we completely under estimate the number of trips we'll take to Menards even for the simplest project. See Willa's Tree House project and just count up the running total of Menard's trips.

It's fun to do some of these things ourselves, but this time I'm glad it's not me or Jamey up on that roof.

Heart Matters

Willa says what's on her mind.

I'm always amazed at how honestly Willa can describe her feelings. On Sunday night, after much time spent holding Cam, singing to Cam, making him smile, etc. she said "you know what Mommy? I think Cam just isn't all the way into my heart yet." Of course I asked what she meant by this, and she said "Well, I've been loving you and Daddy my whole life, so you're in the middle of my heart, but I've only been loving Cam for a little while, so he's not all the way in there, yet."

Of course! It's so simple and yet so complicated. Hopefully Cam wiggles his way into the middle soon.

The Second Time

One bit of wisdom that stuck with me from one of the numerous parenting books I read when pregnant with Willa went something like this: your new baby should join and/or fit into the life you already live, your life should not stop and revolve around your new baby. I think Jamey and I did a decent job of taking this to heart, but of course things change drastically when a new person enters your family. While I wouldn't say we redirected the sun to rise and set on the face of Willa, I would say she has become our true north.

There's nothing like a baby to shake things up. With #2, there seems to be very little choice but to fit him into the already established order of our universe. Teeth need to be brushed, bedtime stories read, lunches packed and stories created. Cam graciously fits into the spaces between.

I often wonder what he's missing. I remember the bedtime routine we had with Willa, even as a newborn. One of us would rock her with the last bottle, and the other would read long stories from a story book or Dr. Suess picture book. Does "second-hand" reading count when Cam sits in on Willa's bedtime chapter books?

There was so much thought and preparing for Willa's arrival. I read countless books on pregnancy, parenting, feeding and sleeping. I researched diapers and formula and car seats and strollers. We had seven different baby name books. I wrote an entire journal full of thoughts and letters to my unborn child. I made none of these preparations for Cam. It's like there was an open space in the puzzle and we didn't have to look twice to know he was the part that fit.

I took a picture of Willa in the same spot every day for the first 30 days of her life, just so I could see how much she changed and grew every day. I take pictures of Cam when Willa says "take a picture of me holding my brother like this."

Then I have to think about the yin to this yang. What has Cam gained by being second? First, he's gained a much calmer and more confident set of parents. We called our pediatrician, Dr. Judy, every day the first week we had Willa home. We brought the finger nail clippers to our two-week appointment with her because we were afraid to clip her nails. We've already trimmed Cam's nails several times. We know we can't "break" Cam or permanently wreck him if we let him cry a little. We know he's OK even if he spits up a little. We don't panic if he fails to poop every day.

Cam gets the benefit of Willa. He's so lucky to be the recipient of her special songs and stories and affections. She reads to him and it melts my heart. She makes plans for him and predicts their future and wishes it would be OK for her to marry him some day, but if they can't get married, at least they'll live together forever.

Cam gets our lessons learned from the first round - although I often wonder if we've learned anything that would make us change the way we do things. For now, I've decided not to worry about it.

Going Back

In one week I'll be going back to work at Coe and Cam will go to daycare. I'm ready. Not that I haven't enjoyed the time getting to know him and easing him into this world...I'm ready for a steady routine and a daily dose of adult interactions. I do not have the support structure necessary to keep going as a stay-at-home parent.

Aside from holding Cam, walking around with Cam, coaxing Cam to sleep, changing diapers, feeding, burping, washing bottles and clothes daily and basically just gazing with wonder at the new little person that is Cam, here is a list of other things I've accomplished in the last eight weeks.

1. I've watched every episode of "Arrested Development" on HULU. I started this in the first few weeks, and in my hormone-induced semi-depression, the narrator's voice became a dear comfort to me. I grew very fond of the Bluthe family, and when I finished watching the last episode of the three seasons, I was sad. The comic relief was most welcome in the midst of my uncontrollable episodes of tears.

2. Photo albums: I printed (through various online offers and Walgreens) over 400 photos taken in the past three years. I like photo albums. Willa and I like to take down an album and sit on the couch or share a chair and look at pictures and relive the moments. I haven't quite figured out how to translate that to the digital world. I hadn't put together a photo album since Willa was three, so I had close to three years worth of photos to print, organize and insert into albums. I ended up with four albums, plus one started for Cam's baby-hood. I'm caught up until about three weeks ago. There are always more!

3. Updated Facebook: I've had a Facebook account for a long time, mainly just so I could explain what it was to other people. in the past three months I've had 24 invitations from people I've known recently and as long ago as grade school, so it was time to get connected. I still have mixed feelings about it.

4. Read: I just finished "In The Name of Salome" by Julia Alverez. I've also read: "Operating Instructions" by Anne Lamott, "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell, and countless magazines and articles. I'm now reading "The Gutenberg Elegies" by Sven Birkert.

3 Weeks

Today Cam is three weeks old. Only three weeks, 21 days, and I can't imagine life without him. Already the complaints and pains of being pregnant are hazy and life with only one child is starting to fade.

I remember the first few weeks after bringing Willa into our life - I kept waiting for our life to get back to normal. It took a while before I realized there wasn't a 'getting back to' but only a 'new' normal. But now, it seems that Cam has completed something; that there was a 'normal' just waiting for him. I never realized how much our family was waiting for this son, this next child, until we got him home.

So far, so good. Cam seems to be a mild baby. Just in the past two days or so he's spent a few extra hours awake during the day. I've been enjoying his 'newbornness' so much more than I enjoyed Willa's. Maybe because I now know you can't really break or ruin this little creatures. Willa is proving to be a great big sister, despite her complaints that he's not growing fast enough for her (she really thought he'd be able to control his arms and hands by now). And of course, Jamey is the master diaper changer and super-daddy. Can't wait to see what happens next week!

What's in a Name?

While I don't think the whole concept of growing another person is easy by any means (or comfortable, for that matter), I do think what's far more difficult in this whole ordeal is coming up with a name!

Jamey and I had the same problem with Willa. It was two weeks before her scheduled birth and we did not have ONE NAME that the two of us agreed upon. We made a date, agreed to both show up with a list of names and agreed that we would not go home until we had a list we agreed upon. After dinner, we ended up at the Barnes and Noble cafe. We were there for five hours, but we did come up with a list.

This time was more difficult because we must have both boy and girl names. Jamey is convinced we are having another girl. He insists that with all of the pictures from our multiple ultrasounds we would have seen some dead give-away if this is a boy. This is not enough proof for me to ignore the boy names, although I admit, between the two of us, I like the girl names better than the boy names.

The good news is we only have two weeks left to meet our little something. The bad news is that the little something may not have a name for awhile!